Let’s Keep Our Eyes Open For Women In Pain


August 22, 2015 by Renee Griffin

When Susan Mead asked me to be part of her *Dance With Jesus: Birthday Beach Bash & Blog Tour* in honor of her son’s birthday, I instantly thought about how difficult this day must be for her.

Every year since losing her precious child, she faces the day he was born.

Birthdays mark specific moments in time when a new life emerges and days began to be counted. With each passing year, we stop and celebrate the space of time we have enjoyed life with our loved ones.

Losing them doesn’t change the marking of time.

For families who have lost loved ones, birthdays still cycle through the calendar.

We still celebrate their lives, but also face the reality of their deaths.

As an adopted child, my birthdays were filled with a different reality.

While those around me celebrated my life, I struggled to accept the emotional death of separation from my birth family. I faced a grieving process, too.

In my mind, I knew my biological family was somewhere, and in my heart, I wrestled with the fact they were lost to me.

If you’ve read my story, Eyes Of A Stranger, you know God miraculously allowed me to locate and reunite with my birth family twelve years ago. Since my adoption reunion, birthdays are brand new. I am one blessed chick. However, there are many other adoptees facing birthdays without knowledge of their biological roots.

This past March, adoptees in Ohio, who like me didn’t have identifying information about their birth families, were given an amazing opportunity. According to the Washington Post effective March 20, 2015, approximately 400,000 adult adoptees born between January 1, 1964 and September 18, 1996 gained access to their original birth certificates.

I watched one Ohio adoption reunion after the new law went into effect on abc.com. It was powerful. While I identify most with the emotions of the adoptee, the reaction of the birth mother broke my heart.

(If you’d like to watch the video, and you’re sure you have plenty of tissue or at least a roll of paper towels, click here.)

Birth moms who gave up babies during that particular time did so in a culture of shame. So many women today endure private struggles as they face birthdays of children they gave away in secret adoptions. Many of these women carry private, traumatic pain over the loss of their children.

Toby Mac has a digital poster with important words. “Be kind. For everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.”  It’s a valuable thought.

We just never know what the woman next to us has been through or is walking through; like my precious friend, Susan Mead. Susan is so full of Jesus, I would have never guessed the pain she’s endured until she told me her story.

Talking with her is life-giving, and you walk away smiling. She’s a light, a bright spark, a beacon shining Jesus to everyone in her path.

She’s also a woman who’s walked through a mama’s worst nightmare. Her joy is found in the One Who carried her through the tragedy of losing her sweet boy. He carries her still through every birthday she faces.

That’s what Jesus does.

Everyday, I am surrounded by women. I’ve lived long enough to know many of them are in pain, and yet they keep smiling as if nothing is wrong.

Some know Jesus.

Some don’t.

Can I ask you a favor?

Tomorrow when you go though your normal routine, would you make a choice to gaze a little longer at the women passing by?

Let’s be on the lookout.

Let’s keep our eyes open for women with glimmers of pain in their eyes, and reach out with the love of Christ.

keep eyes open women pain

If you find someone, trudging her way through valleys of grief, be brave and reach out.

Let’s take time to discover who she is and hear her story.

Who knows?

It could be the day we open up, stretch out a loving hand, and really listen closely is the birthday of someone they lost, and our time and attention becomes a sacred gift.

(Susan graciously provided two copies of her book, Dance With Jesus, for me to share. Just leave a comment below, and I will enter your name in the drawing for a chance to win.)

18 thoughts on “Let’s Keep Our Eyes Open For Women In Pain

  1. Missy Eason says:

    Another perfectly timed post. Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Sherrie Pippin says:

    Thanks Renee. I’m going to share this with my Wednesday night women’s group.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Beautiful, Renee. I love your story and I love Susan’s story. You are so correct; when you leave a conversation with Susan you feel joyful and uplifted. I am so glad God allowed me to meet both of you ladies.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Angie Dasher says:

    Great post Renee!


  5. Heather Morin says:

    Renee, I always love reading the things you post! They’re always encouraging and uplifting, and this post immediately spoke to my heart. Thanks for sharing your gift and the love of Jesus!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Heather Morin says:

    *if I post twice, I apologize…it asked me to login to my WordPress account, and I think my first post was lost. Either way, I wanted to make sure you know how much I love reading your posts! They always challenge me to be better!! Thanks for sharing this part of yourself and the love of Jesus!!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Beautiful post, my friend. So often I catch myself focused on my little world, and not lifting my eyes to see others around me. I appreciate your timely reminder. Thank you! Your words always move me! Blessings!


    • It’s so easy to get caught up in our own little worlds, isn’t it? Our worlds are so full & busy, but I don’t want to miss the chance to reach out to a woman who is hurting. I’m glad you don’t either. Thanks for your sweet comments (as usual). Have a great weekend!


  8. Mommy Square says:

    I’ll be on the lookout. 😉


  9. “Let’s keep our eyes open for women with glimmers of pain in their eyes, and reach out with the love of Christ.” Love this. ❤ Such beautiful words of encouragement!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Bible Gateway Blogger Grid member badge
I am a member of COMPEL Training
She Speaks
She Speaks Graduate


%d bloggers like this: